A new memo has come from headquarters about the poop situation. This is the fifth, longer and more scathing than the rest. The memos are the only thing anyone know of Boros whose life of secrecy ensures that no one knows how he is able to finance the largest global avian development program. He is the good guy and no self-respecting avian cares much about it. Except perhaps, you, Christian McQuail. And you have never mooted your thoughts on the matter to anyone. Not even Evelyn you secret Dove lover whom you have been coiling for 18 months now; you hate the word coiling.
—Makes us all look like ducks, you say.
Since Interspecies Coiling was banned and the Species Integrity Special Taskforce began doing raids, you have been seeing her only twice a week, at night.
You are troubled by the letter addressed to the Kazastan Territory Director and copied to all members of the Country office. Boros does this- copying everyone in his official communications, no matter how private or humiliating they are. His justification is that the head of the Open Avian Society that promotes justice, accountability and transparent government, must take the lead by making sure that there is nothing like “secret communication”.
You are afraid that because everything the letter says is true, and especially because the Territory Director is hopelessly inefficient, the entire Kazastan operation might be jeopardized. You worry about the loans you have taken and your plans to nest Evelyn soon in East Avia- the only territory that has legalized interspecies coiling and nesting.
In the darkness, she cuddles, her smooth brown feathers under your spotted grey feathers.
—Tell me a story, Chris, she says.
—I have told you all my stories love.
—Tell me again. I like the way you tell them. Every time you tell it, it is like a different story.
She gently preens the feathers on your left wing. She never gets tired of hearing what you call The history of the sovereign avian territory of Kazastan.
—Ok, you begin. Once upon a time in an avian territory not too far from here, there was a great meeting of all avian territories...
You love reliving this tale of the formation of the United Avian League to fight extinction due the sudden increase in consumption of avians by the human population right after, in what the humans termed a great tragedy, all the cows went mad. You believe it is no coincidence and that the cows, instead of being constantly eaten and sexually abused in the name of milking, decided to deliberately infect themselves with this fatal disease.
She knows by heart, all the articles in the Declaration of Avian Rights and mouths the words when you mention the first one in your story: All avians are hatched free and equal and no species shall suffer discrimination on the basis of plumage, flight, or diet.
She loves that one. The thought, however farfetched of doves and pigeons being equal to hawks and eagles makes her giddy and breathless. It is not enough to be pretty, she thinks, I want respect. She has begged you more than once not to call her sweet.
—When someone wants you to be quiet while they clip your wings, they will call you sweet. I am not sweet. I am an avian, hatched free and equal.
When she says this you laugh and call her ‘my dear politician’.
—You should do a book, Evelyn interrupts, Modern Avian History.
You smile.
—Perhaps after I finish my story?
—I am sorry love, continue.
—The eagles and hawks of course tried to fight the Declaration of Avian rights. The vultures — those hypocrites that pretend to be neutral but harbor every criminal avian and allow thieves to keep their stolen grains in their territory — they just looked on as everything happened. Huge bribes of millet and corn were given to chickens by the eagles and hawks — without their vote nothing could have happened. The chickens took their money. And the head of the chickens, leader of the territory of Kazastan- the most populous avian territory made up of 65 percent chickens, 10 percent guinea fowls, 10 percent doves and pigeons and 15 percent other species — gave a rousing speech in favor of the Declaration and voted for it. It is said that the hawks sponsored every scheme to make Kazastan unstable because of this. A bitter war ensued when the guinea fowls (who hitherto had been dominant in the army, politics and business) fearing extinction by the lazy and power-hungry chickens (supported, some say, by the hawks) decided to secede. And the quails seceded with them. Infighting, starvation, inferior fire power, low reproduction rate and the ego of General Kwa the guinea fowl head of the rebellion, ensured that 13 months after, they lost the war and were forced back into Kazastan. They lost all they had and were treated with suspicion. That is why it is hard for chickens to share power to the guinea fowls. Of course, everybody hates quails — the chickens hate us because we joined the rebellion, the guinea fowls because they think we were not loyal enough...
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Elnathan’s Corner to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.